Thursday, July 19, 2012

Birth story

I woke up with a feeling that something is wrong. I felt very different than other days and just to make sure everything is ok, my husband took me to the hospital. And yes, my instincts were once again right. My amniotic fluid started to leek which led me to an overnight stay in the hospital and eventually to a final statement from the doctor that I should go home and take it easy. And I did.
Lazy Sunday, eating an ice cream and watching cheesy movies (Mamma Mia, to be very specific J). I felt several contractions but nothing major that would bring my thoughts to worry. I will never forget that moment when I was just about to go to bed and all of the sudden, an elusive amount of water came out of me.  I looked at my hubby and we both knew this is the time. Of course I started to panic, we had almost nothing prepared. My bag wasn’t packed, I didn’t wash my baby boy’s sheets yet, I simply didn’t expect him to come so early. I still had a month to go.
And then I realized one more thing. This little monkey picked his arrival to surprise more than just mom and dad, he chose to be born on my mother’s 50th birthday. What gift can top that?
We arrived to the hospital around 10pm and doctors suggested that we should take a little nap since this is going to be one long night. I fell asleep and woke up around 3am with a slight feeling that contractions already started to play its role. More time went by and everything started to be more painful. I decided to go for an epidural and after a description from my friends, that this drug does miracles, I was very surprised that it didn’t work for me. ‘What a heck’ was all I could think at that point. I told my husband to push the button that can add an extra amount of medication. Nothing.  I told myself that I have to be the strongest I’ve ever been and forget about the pain and just do it.
My husband was watching the monitor and with every coming contraction he warned me about the excruciating strength of pain I am about to feel. Since I was four weeks from my due date, we were both very afraid if the baby is going to be ok. My brain was overflowed with endless thoughts about the baby, my fear grew stronger but my heart kept telling me he is going to be just fine.
We kept looking at each other and then, the most beautiful moment happened. I told my husband: Let’s pray together. And we started out loud, something we’ve never done before. That sacred moment of pure human vulnerability calmed me down and I knew I was ready.
Few hours later, 10 cm and ready to push. Even though the pain was at that point the worst, I didn’t care much because I knew this is it. I am going to meet my son for the first time. MY SON. Doctors told me they can already see his head and they let me touch it. Surreal moment.  I was so exhausted but in situations like that, your body is stronger than you think and after 45 minutes of constant pushing, I heard the special voice of his. They put him on my chest and I started to cry with happiness. He looked into my eyes for the first time and from that moment, the meaning of love gained a whole new magnitude. He is perfect, just perfect.. That was all I could think. The relief was indescribable.  Happy birthday my boy.  And my mom tooJ.